Living together before marriage….the why's and why not's. The ugly truth to why I did it.

Growing up for me wasn’t always easy. I grew up in a house with two parents that only had time for each other. They were stuck in this honeymoon phase that can only be described as a neglectful trance. I was often made to feel as if I didn’t belong and the knowledge of my presence in the room was met with great annoyance. I usually sat and listened to conversations that my parents were having wanting to voice my opinion but experience had shown me that speaking would only lead to blank stares. I wanted so desperately to have a voice.

So when I got to the age when I could move out I did. Desperate to get out of a hard situation I took the easy way out. I moved in with the guy I was dating (this was after the separation of me and my too young husband of course). It was easy. He helped take care of me in a way I had never been taken care of and he seemed to listen to me when I talked. I was in heaven. I finally had a voice. But was I in love?? Not hardly. Did I love him…sure he is still one of my best friends to this day, but was he the one? No and the sad thing is that if I am completely open and honest with myself and those around me, I knew he wasn’t the one when I put myself in the situation. It was a situation of convenience, and a short term answer to feelings that had been going on long term. So I vowed after that relationship fell apart that I would never live with a man again until we were husband and wife.

Last week I signed a six month lease with my boyfriend. Going back on a vow that I made to myself was not easily done. It took a lot of thought on my part and this is what I figured out…I’m in love! I have finally given to someone complete and total dedication. I feel strange going back on my word, however in this case I’m not taking the easy way out. In fact this way is a lot harder because of the words that I now have to eat with my head held high. But it’s worth it because he is worth it.

So if you take anything out of this it should be; never say never, you can’t predict the future and if you are going to make this decision make it for the right reasons. Nothing is worse than having to pack your bags and move out of a place because of a break up.