Anxiety

So I’m studying to be a photographer and I love it. But right now there are some things that I am struggle with. I am confident in front of the camera, but get me behind it and I become extremely shy. Working with strangers and trying to fake the confidence that I don’t have is very hard. It is something that I am working on and hopefully it will get better.

I recently helped an associate photograph a wedding. It was not easy and I was uncomfortable the whole time. I didn’t really feel in my element. But when I watch my associate throughout the wedding he poured confidence throughout his whole demeanor. Granted this said photographer has a lot more experience than me, but I felt like I need to be there now if I am going to do anything with my work.

I like being a photography student but I’m worrying about how I will like being a photographer. It takes a lot of ambition and drive to get out there. Not to mention the time, energy and the financial toll it takes.

Bottom line is, I’m nervous. I want to be extremely good and so there is a ton of pressure that I put on myself. And I am good. I see the big picture and all of the technical stuff is starting to come together. I really just need more experience and maybe a stronger portfolio and then I will have more confidence.

It is hard when you yourself are the brand though. My name is going out there on a product and that is a very scary thing. But also really exciting!!! :)